In the last three weeks I've had an experience that in a way has brought me closer to the Savior. Scott and I found out we were expecting another sweet spirit, however that joy was rather short lived. We soon learned that we would be losing the baby. It hurt knowing that we wouldn't get to raise this child. See it grow in the gospel. In the beginning before it was an inevitability I remember praying to our Father in Heaven and felt a bit as the Savior did in the Garden of Gethsemane. Mathew 26:39 shares how the Savior prayed to his Father and said "O my father if it be possible let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will but as though wilt." I wanted this baby, but I knew that the Lord had something else in mind.

In one of the blessings that I received I was promised that as I read my scriptures I would be comforted. Interestingly enough, that is exactly what happened. Mosiah 3:7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer. I know that he suffered all these things so that he might know how to succor his people. He knows how I am feeling, both physically as I go through the pain of a miscarriage and emotionally.

I don't know what lesson I am supposed to learn through this loss. It could be that I needed to get myself into a better place physically. I know I have been slacking on my scripture study. I have some things that I want to do so that when the Lord does fulfill his promise "you shall know the love of a large family." I will be ready.